


we've got our whole lives, let's see and decide

by loodins



Series: season 8 tags and fix-its [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Episode Fix-it: s08e04 The Last of the Starks, F/M, Fix-It, Season/Series 08, Season/Series 08 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 09:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18735946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loodins/pseuds/loodins
Summary: spoilers for 8.04 incoming!“I’m going to the capital. I’m going to kill her.”Gendry doesn’t have to ask who. He doesn’t flinch, he doesn’t react beyond a nod. “Alright. And when you’ve finished?”Arya raises an eyebrow. “Who says I’ll be alive after?”“Me,” he says, his jaw muscles jumping as they tense.She smiles, and cups his face in her hand. “I don’t know what I’m doing after. My list may grow, and I’ll have more people to kill. I may have no further purpose in Westeros. I may have no further purpose.”also known as: that scene should not have stopped there god damnit





	we've got our whole lives, let's see and decide

**Author's Note:**

> me: wow this is actually very true to the characters, gendry never thought he was worthy of arya because he was a bastard and now he's a lord and thinks he's finally worthy and has something to offer her--  
> also me: FUCK this 
> 
> This is the conversation that should have followed but we never got. 
> 
> Written in about an hour and a half with zero editing, please excuse mistakes (and feel free to point them out). 
> 
> Titles from Stargazing by Kygo

“All I know is that you’re beautiful, and I love you, and none of it will be worth anything if you’re not with me. So be with me,” he says. He sinks to a knee. “Be my wife. Be the Lady of Storm’s End.”

Arya smiles, and lowers herself to his level so she can kiss him like she so desperately wants to because he’s handsome and she loves him and so much in her life has been because of him, for him. And yet—she pulls away and smiles, proud. “You’ll be a wonderful lord. And any lady would be lucky to have you. But I’m not a lady. I never have been.” She pauses, watches as she can see Gendry’s heart plummeting. “That’s not me.”

Gendry’s face twists, and he grips her forearms in his hands, desperate and gentle simultaneously. “What? We—we’re finally _allowed_ to be together and you’ve decided it means fuckall?”

“I’ve never cared if it was allowed,” she says. “I never wanted Lord Gendry Baratheon. All I ever wanted was Gendry Rivers.”

He shakes his head frantically. “But—you couldn’t. I couldn’t— _we_ couldn’t—“

“You never truly understood what I meant, did you? Even now, you don’t get it,” she says, but it’s not cruel. It’s soft and loving, because she knows—she _knows_ —that he’s spent his life believing he is not worthy. Not of a family, not of all the years he had with Mott, not of—not of love. She also knows that she’s spent her life knowing that this is not the life for her. “I am not a lady. I never have been and I never will be. It’s not just something I say. Sitting stagnant in a castle isn’t for me. Any children I may have are more likely to be assassins or black smiths than they are to be knights or lords or princes like my father wanted. I never wanted what you’re asking of me now. I’ve never been that girl.”

“But—“

“You barely know how to use a fork. I barely know how to use a needle. That’s how it’s always been, and I had to make my own needle work just to prove to one after another that the duties of a lady are not the duties I can perform. My needle brings sorrow, while Sansa’s needle brings beauty. I’ve spent my entire life showing others that _that_ is who I am.”

Gendry croaks, “then I’ll turn it down. I told you, it means nothing without you by my side.”

“No,” Arya says. “Don’t. You deserve it.”

“I deserve nothing. I’m a bastard, a low born. A smith.”

“You’re legitimized. You’re a high born, now. You’re a lord. You deserve everything.”

“Then—Gods, don’t I deserve a family? Happiness? You? All I’ve ever wanted was you. I thought I wasn’t allowed. But being _allowed_ , being a _lord_ —none of it means a fucking thing if I lose you. I don’t want it if it means losing you. I’d _hate_ being a lord if it meant losing you, don’t you understand that?” he presses. He kisses her again, and she gasps at the intensity of it. When he pulls away, his face is serious and devoid of any confusion that it held just moments ago. “I’m happy in a forge and loving you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted or needed. And—Gods, Arya, if you don’t want me, too, bloody say it. But don’t make me think that the one chance I have at you—family, happiness—is dependent on turning the Queen down. Just say the words and I’m gone, and out of your life. But I want you, and I want you to want me, either as a lord, as a bastard, as your husband, as your best friend, or-or a combination of any of those things. However you’ll have me.”

Arya stares at him. She does want him. She doesn’t care how it is, as long as she’s not sitting in a castle making princes and princesses as her job, as long as she’s not forced to be what she is not. She’s always wanted him and him alone, in terms of love, anyways. She loves him. She loves him more than she loves herself, and he deserves better than her, better than an assassin who would rip away his chance at feeling worthy. She knows that he doesn’t want better. He wants her. She looks him in the eye, and tells him, “I’m going to the capital. I’m going to kill her.”

Gendry doesn’t have to ask who. He doesn’t flinch, he doesn’t react beyond a nod. “Alright. And when you’ve finished?”

Arya raises an eyebrow. “Who says I’ll be alive after?”

“Me,” he says, his jaw muscles jumping as they tense.

She smiles, and cups his face in her hand. “I don’t know what I’m doing after. My list may grow, and I’ll have more people to kill. I may have no further purpose in Westeros. I may have no further purpose.”

“We can find you a new purpose together, wherever you wish to go. I know we were children, I know it was years ago, but you told me you could be my family. Arya, that’s all I want. To be your family. I don’t care the circumstances or the requirements from you. Let me make your weapons and listen to your dumb stories and deal with you correcting my fighting form and be with you. Fuck being a lord. Fuck you being a lady. Fuck anything except me loving you and you loving me.”

“Actually, instead of fucking everything else, I’d quite like to only be fucking you,” she quips. Gendry’s smile grows wider and wider until he’s beaming at her. She pulls him down by the neck and he lifts her up by her hips until they meet awkwardly in the middle, and then they’re kissing and she feels the first glimmer of hope for her future she’s felt since Jaqen H'ghar called her No One. But—“My stories are _not_ dumb,” she says, ripping her lips from his.

Gendry snorts. “D’you know how many times I heard about you chasing bloody cats when we were recruits for the wall?”

“Chasing cats is the reason I defeated the Night King!” Arya says. “It teaches you to be quiet as shadows and—“

“Yeah, yeah,” Gendry smiles, “light as feathers. Though, you never had much issue in that department, did you?” To prove his point, he lifts her in to the air, and she’s quick to wrap her legs around his waist.

“I may be small but it is useful, I’ll have you know.”

“Right, everyone underestimates you. Cersei won’t even see you coming you’ll just hide right under her dinner seat.”

Arya grins, “if it that is the best way, yes. I will be hiding right under her dinner seat.”

“And after that you can call me up and we’ll enjoy the feast that was meant for her.”

“And after that?”

Gendry kisses her again. “And after that you could lead me to the end of the world should it be your wish.”

“Maybe not _quite_ the end.”

“Alright. Not the end.”

**Author's Note:**

> ha that ending is me trying to force myself in to believing that this is NOT THE END FOR THESE TWO. 
> 
> Listen, I'll always have fic even if those two don't end up together but like? I am SO confused as to why they made this cannon for A SINGLE SCENE only for it TO GET RUINED THE NEXT. It! Doesn't! Make! Sense! And I love these two and I think they have an incredibly healthy relationship because it is built on friendship and trust more than anything else and there's SUCH GOOD POTENTIAL and I have to have faith in that they put that "it all means nothing without you" or whatever line in there??? This is not the end friends. and if it is we riot (or just write more fix-it fics).


End file.
